A post dedicated to my heart + soul

Yesterday was Jon and my anniversary. With each passing year I am more and more in disbelief that 365 more days really have gone by. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve someone so caring, kind, and as special as him, but good God, am I thankful.

I’ve never felt more at home with someone physically, mentally, emotionally – you are my shelter when I need it most. You give me a sense of comfort and dependence. You are my best friend and are there for me through anything and everything, never letting me face it alone. You’ve taught me how to prioritize my own needs and make myself happy.

There is so much I could thank you for that I could write an entire book. So for the sake of this blog and my readers near and far, I will leave it at this: thank you for being ranked among my father and my grandfather as one of the most honorable, honest, caring men I know; thank you for sharing your family with me and giving me more people to open my heart to; thank you for taking me on countless adventures; thank you for not pushing me out of the car when I sing along to every song; thank you for supporting me through my Master’s degree and pushing me to advocate for what I believe in; thank you for listening to me complain about how tired I am everyday after work, even if it’s only 3:30pm; thank you for sharing bags of popcorn in bed when we binge on Bob’s Burgers.

Thank you for loving me unconditionally through all the ups and downs. For loving me when I talk to our guinea pig like he is a real life baby. For loving me when I am moody and hungry and ready to kill anything that breathes. For loving me when I am bouncing off the walls after drinking one-too-many cups of Starbucks. For loving me when I buy unnecessary things for the apartment at Target that we “have to have.” For loving me when I can’t find it in me to love myself.

I am overwhelmed with love and forever indebted to you for all you have done for me. Nothing I say or do could ever amount to the countless thanks and appreciation I have for you.

I look forward to the years ahead, going on more adventures, and snuggling on our brand new IKEA couch (!!!).

I love you.

22788637_10211700807330570_6948201603743454676_n

One thing everyone should eliminate: Toxicity.

11825215_10205555424979852_3975900442293008285_n

If there is one thing I am not the best at, it is not giving people the time of day when that is exactly what they deserve. For literally the longest time ever, I could not bare to leave a text unanswered or a phone call to be missed. I have this innate desire in me to help every single person that reaches their hand out to me, good or bad, and it has taken a lot of time to learn that this is something that doesn’t always need to happen.

I tried to convince myself that allowing toxic people into my life or keeping them there was no big deal because they’re like a second family or we go way back, life’s too short to hold a grudge. Not the case, people, not the case.

Sometimes you have to muster up a crap-ton of courage and strength to not only know when enough is enough, but to also say it, speak it, or live it out each day. It is not worth it to read a text and get stressed out or anxious. It is not worth it to give someone your time and respect when you don’t get the same in return. It is not worth it to have someone in your life who has hurt you time and time again with no changes to their behavior. This does not happen overnight, it happens over time. Sure, you have tried, but now it is time to let go.

This does not always mean that these people are bad people, it just means they are bad for you. You have a voice. You have the right. You are allowed to say goodbye. I have seen my friends go through this. I have gone through this. It happens, and it is perfectly okay.

If there is one thing for sure, it will not be easy, but you have to stick to your guns. Yes, sometimes you will be called a bitch for putting yourself first. But just remember, why not put yourself first? Your mental, emotional, and physical health matter more than anything in the world. You are not yourself if you are not happy and healthy. If you love yourself, you will give yourself the freedom to live without the toxicity. And trust me, from a girl that’s been there, it makes one hell of a difference. xoxo.